hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
where are my eyebrows?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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