Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
