I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
