Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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