so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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