Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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