we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Can vaginas get frostbite?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
