Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I can't put those talents on a resume
Holy sore nipples Batman
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
