are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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