my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize