Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
