wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
