he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
