Don't make out with my wife yet
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
