so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
