she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
