Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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