i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
