my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
