I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Soap is not a condiment
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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