I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
one might say we're banned from that church
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
