he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
