I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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