Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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