I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
