How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just found puke in my bra..
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I think I just sharted jello shots
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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