I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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