I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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