If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
