I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
