two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
