he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I had to cum in my sink.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
