There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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