Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
