ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
