Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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