If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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