i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
