is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
