I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
We talked him into tasing himself.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
