I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
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I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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