So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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