I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
