I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
