I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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