only if we run a train.
done.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
