Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
