I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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