she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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