Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize