Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
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Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
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Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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