I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Less talking, more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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