So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
