So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
