spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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