My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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