OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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