the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
